


Fear | YunBin

by konthusiasm



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, yunbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 12:56:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16893015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konthusiasm/pseuds/konthusiasm
Summary: In which both Yunhyeong and Hanbin actually have so unsaid things that turns out being their own fears.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so i'm making this short story to join the #ThiccmasYUNBIN party woo~ if you guys like this one maybe i'll make another one hehe. also i've made one yunbin au, you can check it on my twitter with same uname. thanks!

It's almost a whole day since Hanbin doesn't show himself or text Yunhyeong since morning. Yunhyeong still trying to keep positive thoughts and not asking Donghyuk to drive him to Hanbin.

"Hey, have you seen this?" Donghyuk show his phone screen and there's a post on Instagram, from Hanbin's ex. Yunhyeong's brain couldn't think properly after he saw the picture she post is two pictures. A picture of her and Hanbin hugging, and the other one is them kissing.

"What? No. I don't follow her though." Yunhyeong play his own phone, distracting himself for what he just saw. He really try to forget it. Does it means Hanbin and her... No. It can't be.

"Do you think they still in love? She really wrote the caption that she miss Hanbin. What a brave." 

Yes. Hanbin and Yunhyeong never tell anyone about their relationshipㅡ which is more than bestfriends, brothers, or whatever it's called. 

They started their relationship 4 months ago. How they getting close is classic. At that time, Yunhyeong knew Hanbin needed a friend to talk since he just broke up, and Yunhyeong willing to be that person. At the beginning, Yunhyeong never consider Hanbin to be his boyfriend, he never did. But it was quite out of expectation that one day, Hanbin came over Yunhyeong, and he confess everything. 

"It's not easy for me to say this. But you need to know that I'm feeling the most comfortable when I'm with you. I'm always happy whenever I'm around you, either it's by seeing you smile or you make me laugh. Thank you for always being by my side, I didn't expected you're willing to be. Yunhyeong, maybe you never realized it, but I always stare at you differently with how I do with others, you always caught my eyes. Maybe you never realized it, but I always worry and anxious when I don't see you around. And I just found out, that lately I've been into something called love."

That's how Hanbin said it. Yunhyeong still remember each words he said, and the way he said them with a very shy but passionate face. He will never forget how Hanbin waiting for his answers and hug him after. He even still remember the taste of Hanbin's lips when he kiss it for the first time.


	2. Chapter 2

"You alright?" Donghyuk tapping Yunhyeong's cheeks that make him turn back to reality.

"Don't worry. Why would I'm not though?" Yunhyeong smile awkwardly. He can't hide that he's not feeling fine and Donghyuk can see it.

Yunhyeong had a war between his heart and his mind, but at the end he decided that he must ask Hanbin himself what he want to know, so there will be no missunderstanding between them.

"Donghyuk, can I borrow your car?" 

"Now? 11 PM? It's almost midnightㅡ yeah you'll still drive it though. Don't hit anything." Donghyuk grab his car key and throw it to Yunhyeong.

Yunhyeong driving with the window open and songs are playing in the radio. Donghyuk's house isn't that far from Hanbin's but Yunhyeong drive like crazy. Luckily the road isn't crowded.

"I'll try to call him." Yunhyeong drive slower and search Hanbin's contact on his phone, then he tap the call button. It's dialing.

Then 7 seconds later the phone call rejected. "WHAT?" Yunhyeong shock but he still think that maybe Hanbin just doesn't want to talk through phone now. But what actually he's doing? Why do he doesn't say anything to Yunhyeong? Why do his ex posted something related to their relationship again?

The sky is already so dark when Yunhyeong has arrived at Hanbin's house. He park Donghyuk's car carefully and put the key on his pocket. Yunhyeong can't hear anything from inside, he expected maybe Hanbin playing songs with speakers and turn the volume high? But it's so quiet in the cold and cloudy night.

Yunhyeong knocking Hanbin's door but he also can't hear any footstep. Then he try to open the door, and it's not locked. All the lamps are off, Hanbin's house is darker than outside.

"Hanbin?" Yunhyeong shouting Hanbin's name. But no one answer him even though he did it for almost ten times. Then he walk upstair, and once again it's dark, only lamp from Hanbin's room on.

"Is that you?" 

Yunhyeong finally hear the voice of someone he has been looking for today. He's glad Hanbin doesn't sounds like he had cry for 5 hours or he had scream many times. At least he's okay.

"Yes, it's me. Can you open the door, Hanbin?" Yunhyeong answered when he already standing in front of Hanbin bedroom door.

Seconds later Yunhyeong hear footsteps, Hanbin gonna open the door. But he's not. The door got pushed a little and there's a sound like Hanbin just sit on the floor behind.

"I can't." Hanbin answered from inside. But this time his voice isn't as strong as before. He sounds not okay.


	3. Chapter 3

Yunhyeong's heart hurt after he heard Hanbin's answer. Why do Hanbin doesn't want to face him? Or did he do anything wrong?

Then Yunhyeong keep calming himself, he still do the way Hanbin want. He lay on the floor like what Hanbin did. He put his ear beside the door.

"What is happening? Why do I can't contact you? Why don't you say anything to me? Do you know how much I worry about you? I tried to positive thinking because I trust you, I thought you need a time to be alone. But what actually happened? And why do... Your ex.." Yunhyeong doesn't realize that his eyes are already teary. He want to get in there and tell Hanbin how he has been worrying about him this whole day. He want to hug him tightly and say that he miss him so much. But he couldn't. He's mad and sad.

"You don't understand." Hanbin talk behind the door, bur Yunhyeong can hear he's shaking.

"So it's my fault? Okay. Did you wanted me to come here since the beginning? I'm sorry if I always can't guess what you actually want."

"It's me who need to say sorry."

Yunhyeong's body tense. Another question on his mind yet he hasn't get the answers from the previous one. But after that Yunhyeong put himself together again after he heard the sound of Hanbin's bedroom door unlocked. He stand up, and it feels so long for him to see Hanbin standing in front of him.

"She came."

And Hanbin staring at Yunhyeong through his hair that covered his hair. He clenched his hands under the thick sweater. Meanwhile Yunhyeong, his tears just dropped.

But Yunhyeong still step forward closer to Hanbin, lower his head to stare at Hanbin. Then Yunhyeong standing properly. He smile.

"I can smell her perfume, too."

Both of them went silent. No one speak. Hanbin doesn't explain anything and Yunhyeong doesn't want to ask one thing that's on his mind now. Yunhyeong try to think normally but he can't erase the potray of his boyfriend, and his ex together. In this house. When Yunhyeong isn't here. He hate how he can see all the things.

"I'm sorry." 

Hanbin sudden gesture shocked Yunhyeong, but he hug Yunhyeong suddenly. But Yunhyeong's hands are not wrapped Hanbin's body. He's still frozen right now. "I do this so the only perfume you can smell on me, is yours."


	4. Chapter 4

Hanbin close his eyes. He can hear the heartbeat of Yunhyeong and it's beating so fast. It sounds like Yunhyeong holding everything in his chest and he can explode anytime. So here's Hanbin, trying to calm Yunhyeong not with words, but he hopes Yunhyeong can feel warm and get peace.

"You know what, she posted you both's pics." Hanbin shocked because of Yunhyeong's words so that he let go of his hands to see Yunhyeong.

"I-"

"And she said she miss you. I think shouldn't it be she has been missing you then? Because she met you and she-"

Hanbin can't help but talk before Yunhyeong finish his words. He feels embarassed, he shouldn't let Yunhyeong keep thinking the way he do right now. It could be hurt for both of them.

"We didn't do anything. I lose my mind when I saw her. She reached me first-"

"But you welcome her. You did. And you didn't thought she would do anything to you as if you both are still together. Hanbin, am I a joke?" Yunhyeong pointed at himself. His voice sounds so shaking yet he still ask Hanbin the question.

Hanbin feel offended. That's not it. "I'm not. Sweetheart, listen, didn't I told you that I never used you as place to running? I will never do it."

"That's not what I mean. Hanbin, I wonder how do I accept you so fast. I still ask myself, since when I fell in love with you? Was it a long time before you confessed to me? But I never got the answer because what I care is we're together. I'm lying if I said I never thought I was just your place to run out of your heartbreak. But do you know that I'm still willing to be by your side if you did? I love you. And I know one day I'll get hurt by gave my heart to someone else. Dissapoint comes from two way. Either it's because someone I love, or it's because my own expectation. You may think I'm overreaction. But, Hanbin. I can't lie that now I'm afraid you're still-"

Yunhyeong can't finish his words. He covered his face with his hands. And one second later his hands are wet already. Hanbin's heart broke into pieces when he heard Yunhyeong's sobbing. Hanbin step forward once and put his arms around Yunhyeong's neck.

"I didn't touch her. I welcome her as an old friend, you don't have to worry. She hugged me all of sudden, and I didn't hug her like this. She called me babe, I called her by her own name. She said she still think about me, I said I have someone else who I keep thinking about everyday. She said after thinking for months, her feeling for me is still the same, I said my feeling is already different for her. She tried to kiss me, I told her this lips is no longer hers. I'm all yours.

Hanbin said those words softly into Yunhyeong's ears, almost like he's whispering. Then he burst his face onto Yunhyeong's neck. He can't hear Yunhyeong is crying anymore, but Yunhyeong hasn't open his face or hug him back.


	5. Chapter 5

Yunhyeong speak with the lowest voice Hanbin ever heard. "You said it all to her?"

Hanbin nods, even though Yunhyeong can't see it. "I did. Are you still want me to prove that I'll never move to someone else? And by the way, your ears are very red. Don't cry again. I hate to see your tears if it's not for happiness."

Yunhyeong put his hands on his body side, and thinking should he hug Hanbin back or not. He feel embarassed after all, he think he's too childish and overreacting. But honestly, all the words he said are his true feelings. Yunhyeong is a person who never had experience about love, but he kinda understand about it. He knew that it's already a nature law that the most hurt pain would come from the person we never expect will give one, the person we love the most.

"Hug me. I miss you. I'm sorry for not telling you that today I wasn't feeling well. I couldn't sleep last night. You want to know why? Because I keep thinking do I already doing enough for you? And it makes me want to hide myself, I think what I give for you isn't the same like what you always give to me. I'm also sorry for telling you not to tell anyone we're in relationship. I told you it's because I'm afraid about something, right? I thought you'll ask about what do I afraid for, but you didn't. Actually, I'm afraid that if they know, they will tease us when we're together, and I'm a type of person who will feel awkward about it. So classy, right? But I'm glad I still could admire you anytime and anywhere." Hanbin put his left hand on Yunhyeong's head, and he pat it.

After heard what Hanbin said, Yunhyeong realize that they both are still young enough so that they can't say everything they wanted to. They keep waiting for each other to ask, or to guess it right. Yunhyeong realize that they both rarely say the three words but they always show their feelings by action, yet they sometimes still don't understand about what it supposed to be means

."I do admire you more." Yunhyeong wrapped Hanbin's body and burst his face on Hanbin's shoulder. He put his left hand like what Hanbin did to him, but he pull Hanbin's hair slowly.

"My hair is oily."

Yunhyeong couldn't help but smile with his eyes teary again. "Shut up. I miss you. Gosh I want to cry again now. I didn't know you could affect me this much. You literally own the whole me."

Hanbin raise his head, he kiss Yunhyeong's cheek softly for so long. "We technically belong to each other."

A minute later Yunhyeong ended their hug, now he standing in front of Hanbin confidently. Both of them looking at each other.

"We must be look so ugly now. My eyes are swollen and your eye bags are black." Yunhyeong make Hanbin smile. Then he hold Hanbin hands.

Hanbin staring at Yunhyeong intensely without saying any words. They could see the indirect message they want to say to each other. Is that how bond works?

"You still look handsome, my prince." Hanbin smile widely until his dimple showed.

"If I'm not then it's not me. You must take a shower otherwise you will look like-"

Hanbin laugh. "I will look like your gardener or what? I hate you."

"You will always be my boyfriend I know no matter if you looks like a homeless person." Yunhyeong let go of his right hand and hold Hanbin's cheek.

Hanbin blushing so he just looking down, but Yunhyeong's hand move to his chin and make him looking to Yunhyeong again. 

"Always say what you want to say to me. I'll understand it even though maybe it's not a good thing, okay?" 

Hanbin pouts. "Kiss me and I'll do it."

Yunhyeong raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Nevermind. I'll do it." Then Hanbin standing on his toes and he left a little gap between their face for seconds. And Hanbin kiss Yunhyeong's lips, returned by Yunhyeong.

Hanbin's lips may dry and Yunhyeong's lips doesn't taste cherry anymore, but they don't care. They kiss slowly, feeling the desire of love for each other. Just both of themselves behind the door without knowing another day has started.


End file.
